Cubicle Conqueror Gifts

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

"I'll be a little late getting home. My all-employee announcement didn't go over too well."

"It's a dog eat dog world, Finkstrom."

"How many cubicles do you think this will penetrate?"

"He said his screen is frozen again."

"Wait, I have to get my papers AND I have to do paperwork?!"

"This 'hot desking' is a NIGHTMARE!"

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"You've been so productive lately, I've decided to lay the entire staff off so you can do their work as well."

...I believe you wanted to see me about a bigger office.

"How was your day?"

'Problems, sir! Fillmond is attempting a hostile takeover of Martin's cubicle.'

'I heard the boss is a control freak. He's very controlling and the employees freak out!'

'My name is John and I'm a workaholic!'

"I have to go through a six month probationary period before getting full cubicle privileges."

I survived the layoffs, but now I'm seizing the days of three people.

"I'll be torturing you remotely today. We'll start with a series of goal setting meetings."

"Daniel kept taking more and more work home with him everyday."

Noughts and Crosses Office

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

Bear Office Worker

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Another day at work would be one too many...

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Work Slave

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

Do not think outside the box!