Cubicle Conquerors T-Shirts

'Now what are you complaining about? I'm spending more time with you and the kids aren't I?!'

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

"Believe me, you're going to need this string to return from the cubicle maze."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Work Slave

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Do not think outside the box!

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

The Corporate Rat.

Whack, Out of Whack.

"He said his screen is frozen again."

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

You are here.

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"The first of many cubicles..."