Cubicle Conquistador T-Shirts

"It's not that you're a failure. It's that you completely lack the capacity for success."

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Work Slave

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Do not think outside the box!

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"He said his screen is frozen again."

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Whack, Out of Whack.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

The Corporate Rat.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

You are here.

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

"The first of many cubicles..."

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.