Cubicle Occupant Gifts

'I've had my good eye on you for some time now, Haffner.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"At this office no two days are different."

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Inout baskets.

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Computer monitor for a head.

It's a dogs life

Working 9 to 5.

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

Office Weather

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"O.K., if you put it that way."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

Do not think outside the box!