Cubicle Dweller Humor Gifts

"I don't mind this. At least it's job security."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I hate performance review season."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Inout baskets.

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

National Boss Monument.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'