Cubicle Chief Gifts

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Another day at work would be one too many...

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"At this office no two days are different."

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Inout baskets.

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

Work Slave

Computer monitor for a head.

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."