Crustaceans Gifts

"I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas."

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Hermit Crabapple Tree

Crab with a clown face.

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Crabbing

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

Why Crabs Make Lousy Soldiers.

Caution!! Slippery When Wet.

"What a slobster."

Budget and swan, crayfish, pike

"Fortunately, Mr. O'Brien, a sucker's attorney is born every half a minute."

'I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...'

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

Imitation Crab

'No more lobsters, my wife said, after our last one died.'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

"He put up a decent fight."

Boris promises to pursue a Brexit deal with OOMPH!

Crab conductor.

'If you hold this shell to your ear you can hear the ARRRGH!'

'They agreed to settle out of court.'

'The attorney will see you just as soon as you put this neck-brace on.'

Modern hermit crabs using discarded cans instead of shells, illustration the rise in waste and the decline in wildlife (including shells)

'I understand the plight of average crustaceans... Because I'm just an average crustacean myself.'

A crab concerned about getting sunburnt.

"Four bedrooms, oceanfront property, and it's in our price range?! What's the catch?"

'I don't care what everyone else is doing, Mr. Wilson, in my courtroom we don't use pepper spray.'

Foodie Bank