Crustacean Courts Gifts

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Hermit Crabapple Tree

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

Crabbing

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Budget and swan, crayfish, pike

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

'I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...'

"What a slobster."

Caution!! Slippery When Wet.

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

'If at first you don't succeed...appeal to a higher court.'

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

Imitation Crab

'He was a product of his environment. He LIVED in a cooked house, he HAD a crooked wife.'

"That M'lud, is the prosecutions case."