Crustacean Courts T-Shirts

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

Crabbing

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

Budget and swan, crayfish, pike

Caution!! Slippery When Wet.

'I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...'

"What a slobster."

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

"Your honor, my client won't contest the 4 billion counts of breaking and entering, but pleads not guilty to breaking into his own house because he forgot his key when his wife was asleep and couldn't hear him."

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

Why Crabs Make Lousy Soldiers.

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

'If at first you don't succeed...appeal to a higher court.'

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

Imitation Crab

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'