Crossing Guards Gifts

PRINCIPAL, 'Jaywalking and attempted bribery of a crossing guard with a Hershey bar, sir.'

"He likes it."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

Collies Without Borders

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

The Bearskin Hat Family

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

Limbo Day at the Palace

Bashful Royal Guard

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

Sabrage

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

Little deers

'...perhaps it is rather tempting fate.'

"All it says is 'DON'T WALK.' When you think about it, that still leaves a world of possibilities, Baby!"

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

"Not yet, wait until he faints."

"Son, that's a nasty looking hairy mole growing on top of your head."

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'