Crossing Guards Gifts

PRINCIPAL, 'Jaywalking and attempted bribery of a crossing guard with a Hershey bar, sir.'

"He likes it."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

Collies Without Borders

The Bearskin Hat Family

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

Limbo Day at the Palace

Sabrage

Bashful Royal Guard

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'...perhaps it is rather tempting fate.'

Little deers

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

"Son, that's a nasty looking hairy mole growing on top of your head."

"All it says is 'DON'T WALK.' When you think about it, that still leaves a world of possibilities, Baby!"

"Not yet, wait until he faints."

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"