School Crossing Guard Gifts

"I take it your're not one of her favourites."

Lollipop man stops traffic so squirrels can crossing the road.

Lollipop Lady.

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

'Mistakes were made...'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

Why are you here?

Little deers

'The halcyon days of an apple for the teacher are a distant memory.'

Signs of Fall

"All it says is 'DON'T WALK.' When you think about it, that still leaves a world of possibilities, Baby!"

"Great. Now, can I see the unredacted version of your report card?"

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Safety pin helping pins cross street safely.

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"

School bus. Stop. Learn.

School crossing

'And I told my teacher: I can't hold my Mummy's hand when crossing the road...'

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

Lollipop mask

Lollipop lady

A Game Two Can Play At.

School crossing

"Mrs Hill, I'm calling to tell you that you got an F on Stewie's history essay..."

Local drives had been mindful of crosswalks ever since that one guy was dragged to the bushes and mauled.

'The buck stops here.'

'Good morning. I'm Mr Elton. Your teacher-security guard.'

'Obese Children' road sign outside school