School Crossing Guard Gifts

"I take it your're not one of her favourites."

Lollipop man stops traffic so squirrels can crossing the road.

Lollipop Lady.

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

'Mistakes were made...'

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

Why are you here?

'The halcyon days of an apple for the teacher are a distant memory.'

Little deers

"All it says is 'DON'T WALK.' When you think about it, that still leaves a world of possibilities, Baby!"

Signs of Fall

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

"Great. Now, can I see the unredacted version of your report card?"

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"

School crossing

'And I told my teacher: I can't hold my Mummy's hand when crossing the road...'

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

Lollipop mask

Lollipop lady

A Game Two Can Play At.

"Mrs Hill, I'm calling to tell you that you got an F on Stewie's history essay..."

School crossing

Local drives had been mindful of crosswalks ever since that one guy was dragged to the bushes and mauled.

'Good morning. I'm Mr Elton. Your teacher-security guard.'

'Obese Children' road sign outside school

'It's from the Security Council of the PTA!'

'I learned something. Don't let anyone copy your homework and your password, too!'

Grandmother holding 'Grandson' sign outside school