School Crossing Protector Gifts

Lollipop mask

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

Little deers

'The halcyon days of an apple for the teacher are a distant memory.'

"All it says is 'DON'T WALK.' When you think about it, that still leaves a world of possibilities, Baby!"

Signs of Fall

"I cross therefore I am."

Ducks crossing the Red Sea.

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

"Stupid bullies. I would try to defend myself – but what if I lose? Who would cover my legal expenses?"

School crossing

'And I told my teacher: I can't hold my Mummy's hand when crossing the road...'

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"

'Is there anything more infectious than the laughter of children?... Besides us, I mean.'

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

Lollipop man stops traffic so squirrels can crossing the road.

School crossing

Lollipop lady

Local drives had been mindful of crosswalks ever since that one guy was dragged to the bushes and mauled.

'Good morning. I'm Mr Elton. Your teacher-security guard.'

'Obese Children' road sign outside school

'It's from the Security Council of the PTA!'

"Yeah, he's not your typical guard dog."

Modern Childhood