Classroom Protector Gifts

'Good morning. I'm Mr Elton. Your teacher-security guard.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

Privacy Conference Security

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'More government surveillance!'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

Privacy - Surveillance

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Statue of Security

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

Domestic Spying Drones

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down