Classroom Disruptor Gifts

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Computer Class.

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Boardroom cream pies.

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

“Honestly class, where are your minds?!”

I will not waste chalk kid...

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

'Did I throw which spitball?'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

"First day of school and you've already got problem students?"

'You waved a white flag?2

'I just can't take the eraser bits, the spit balls and the insults anymore!'

'Before I answer your question, let me briefly review my list of strategies for dealing with difficult people.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

'Ok, who threw that?'

We must stand up..against incompetence

"Second grade, second grade, second grade, my teacher wants me to repeat second grade!"

'Mrs. Wingit, what's the secret to teaching middle school for 30 years?'

'Your first day of student teaching?'

"Tough class."