Boardroom Disruptor Gifts

Boardroom cream pies.

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"And I'm sure no one will mind if we fold a few clothes while we talk."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'I want to thank you for your spontaneous and overwhelming support...'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

Businessman at the deep end.

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Anyone who opposes my proposal lift an arm!"

"Terri and Kip make up our crazy dreamer imagineering department. Al is our get-realinator."

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

Hand puppet company boss uses puppet to tell employee: 'You're fired!'

'It's lonely at the top.'

"This is where the money will be spent. Oh, sorry. That's a picture of a black hole."