Boardroom Rebels Gifts

'Oh, c'mon, it'll be fun! Let's all go down and get tattooed and pierced!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

Boardroom cream pies.

Well, we've generated enough hot air...it must be time to cram it in a trial balloon and float it.

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

"John and Sidney work in human relations."

'I like thinking inside the box.'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

I expect you all to be team players

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

Businessman at the deep end.

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"I may be wrong, but i suspect he is already grooming his successor."

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."