Boardroom Banterers Gifts

"Starting here, each person whisper to your neighbor the purpose of this meeting and we'll see what we end up with."

Angry Company president shows board of directors a chart indicating his low mood.

"Damn straight, it's not as if there's a war and they just hand us our profits."

"....you, sir, are a pig."

'It's lonely at the top.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

Well, we've generated enough hot air...it must be time to cram it in a trial balloon and float it.

"I propose we build a panic room."

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

I expect you all to be team players

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.