Boardroom Banter Gifts

"Maybe yes. Maybe no."

"Congratulations on becoming a partner - your share of the company losses are �200,000."

'The rich are getting richer, the poor poorer. A raise in your salary would mess things up, Sims!'

"Apparently you mistook my laugh of derision for a smile of approval."

"OK, I'll be the one to say it. With all due respect, sir, that is one heck of a big 'if!'"

"I'd run it by legal myself, but they have a restraining order against me."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'Well, that's fun! Just last week, one of your colleagues came in here to ask for a raise!'

Well, we've generated enough hot air...it must be time to cram it in a trial balloon and float it.

"Before we adjourn, let the minutes show that our Mary needs to have the last word."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

"Have you tried burping him?"

"Our new policy is to fly everyone for free. But it will cost $200.00 to check each bag."

"The elephant in the room, yes, but I can no longer ignore this pile of peanut shells."

"Gentlemen...we need to sell more tampons. Any ideas?"

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

'Watch out for Grizwell - he considered business ethics to be a contradiction in terms.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"So, I understand we're shifting our focus from maximum profits to minimum security."

'And it was at this point we decided to try to put the toothpaste back in the tube.'

'Dear shareholders, let me deliver a brief report on financial results...'

"I may be wrong, but i suspect he is already grooming his successor."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."