Boardroom Banter Participant Gifts

"Our meetings are less about the art of gentle persuasion and more about slap and tickle."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'The 'meows' have it...'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

'Of course, things are looking up --- from where we are, everything is up.'

Well, we've generated enough hot air...it must be time to cram it in a trial balloon and float it.

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"