Boardroom Banter Believer Gifts

'By demanding to nominate directors you shareholders act as if you own the place.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'