Boardroom Daredevil Gifts

Businessman at the deep end.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."