Boardroom Joker Gifts

'How are those revised projections coming along?'

'And this is our strategic planning department...'

'We were going to define the problem but it was simpler to re-define success.'

"Who would like to give me feedback on my leadership qualities?"

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

"Oops! Wrong plug."

Mental Floss.

"Personally, I don't think the company's CEO and CFO should be making decisions by rock- paper-scissors!"

"We've got a long meeting today, but not to worry, folks. I made sure we won't run out of coffee."

'First of all I'm sorry. Secondly I'd like to clarify what I meant by 'never apologize, never explain'.'

"The motion passes with a vote of three 'yeas' and two 'nays'."

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

"Speaking of creativity, I'd like everyone to take a minute and note how Richard is using his tongue to make it look like he has three lips."

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

"There'd better be some questions. I made up half that esoteric-sounding financial jargon."

'Don't worry, Skeeter, the Big Guy is really gonna take to you.'

'It was a victimless crime... unless you count the Board of Directors and the shareholders.'

'Management has taken me to heart - and caused its first attack.'

'Excuse me, did you say 'No comment'?'

'Since we've tried everything... Ms. Tamano has one more suggestion and will lead us in the Lord's Prayer.'

'The Businessman's Child; 'I assure you no one attempting a hostile takeover is under your bed.'

I second that!

'The proposal sounds great, Donnelly. Of course, you do realize I'm already married.'

"Somebody tell me...what's my motivation?"

'Let me present today's speaker.'

"This team's positivity inspires the entire company."

"Would whoever is rattling his saber while I'm speaking please stop?"

"Mr. Montague has closed his eyes. That means he likes your idea and will be in touch."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."