Boardroom Juggler Gifts

"And I'm sure no one will mind if we fold a few clothes while we talk."

'Since team building activities have taken most of our meeting, we have 30 seconds to discuss profits.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.