Boardroom Buster Gifts

'Folks, meet our new Executive V. P. for ad-hoc ethics.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Dog eat dog.'

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."