Classroom Chaos Wrangler Gifts

'I know it's your first day, Ms. Smith. Come down, the high standards we set will all fall into place, besides they're just kindergartners.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Did I throw which spitball?'

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

"Second grade, second grade, second grade, my teacher wants me to repeat second grade!"

'Ok, who threw that?'

We must stand up..against incompetence

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

'If this is my final mark, I have no choice but to go to mediation.'

"Every day it's the same. My class starts out as Sesame Street and ends up as Jerry Springer."

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

'It was animal day at school...I had a dog, Merry had a cat, Robert had a tarantula, and the teacher had a cow.'

"I think Mr. Jackson is dismissing the class!"

"This is going to be a fun year."

"He's given up finding any more savings from the schools budget. . ."

"Vocabulary lesson. Billy Corey taught me the meaning of the word trouble."

'After the revolution' (small people get small schoolbags).

"Daniel Mitchell bit me. Does our dental plan cover that?"