Classroom Chaos Connoisseur Gifts

"I think Mr. Jackson is dismissing the class!"

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Global Education

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

Beginning of the school year

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Did I throw which spitball?'

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

School boy

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"No, you don't get incentive pay for Billy Vincent."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

'I look forward to my first year as a teacher. I wrote lesson plans, attended in-service workshops, and decorated my classroom. Preparation is half the victory. It's the other half that scares me.'

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

'Ok, who threw that?'

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

'It was animal day at school...I had a dog, Merry had a cat, Robert had a tarantula, and the teacher had a cow.'