Train Guard Gifts

A Game Two Can Play At.

Wide Awake.

Train Guard Bird

'Now that's an afro!'

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

Sushi Train Spotters

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

"Remember when they just used to write the train numbers down?"

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

Coupler Counselling

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

Getting Closer

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

Children's Terrain Rides - kids seated and enjoying themselves in the way they would on a real train.

'it's a special for nostalgia buffs.'

Bashful Royal Guard

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

The Little Engine that Faced a Tough Moral Dilemma.

Rodin's Tram Driver

'Euston, we have a problem...'

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'