Train Operator Gifts

'Passengers without a driver? Sounds like my local rail operator.'

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

"Strikes galore! Is nobody doing a shift nowadays!"

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Covid-19: Mind the Gap

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

"Do something creative with the time! I make voodoo dolls of Southern Rail and ASLEF bosses."

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

Children's Terrain Rides - kids seated and enjoying themselves in the way they would on a real train.

"Excuse me is this early for Tuesday or late for Monday?"

'You know Jim's got to find another way to avoid the outrageous fares.'

People with and without tickets on a train

'It's the Matlock Sprinter, dead on time as usual.'

We are being held momentarily to annoy Karen's girlfriend, who's been waiting at the restaurant for, like, twenty minutes.

Railroad funding blues - Amtrak worker begging for money.

Rail Regions Glee Club bursts into life

'You don't actually believe you are going to catch a train?!'

"The 9.23 train is cancelled...new timetables will be arriving at 9.46, 10.15 and 11.07."

Jared's 'Subway' diet secrets revealed.

'If you ladies would like to help...we're having a whip-round for some diesel'.

Railroad Competition

'I'm afraid someone's taken your seat, there are no refreshments and we're running an hour late.'

"Take heed! For your journey is filled with long delays and unexpected service changes."

Underwater Train

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

If nobody had invented graphics

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Local News in Heaven

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'