Train Manager Gifts

Smoking on the train

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

S**t Creek Halt

"We're striking for minimum levels of service."

Undersized Load

'That's not the speed limit! It's the number of cameras in the area!'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

Children's Terrain Rides - kids seated and enjoying themselves in the way they would on a real train.

Man with Stop Signs.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."

Rodin's Tram Driver

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Olympic Diary: The London traffic snarl could not have happened at a worse time.

"So, what did the boss think of your suggestion we spend more money on truck safety?"

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'Now we have the chief executive of Wigwam rail, how can you justify the enormous fair increases.'

The happy union of rail and trucking.

'Nice job, Harold, you finally found me a nice quiet nesting place.'

""Yeah, I like the hard stuff...so what?'

"I'v never actually stormed a castle, but I've taken a bunch of siege-management courses."

"Erm, fireman, teacher, train driver, anything that offers plenty of time off via strike action?"

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

"Take heed! For your journey is filled with long delays and unexpected service changes."

'You'd never make it as a train driver - how about replacement bus service driver?''

"Says. . . some signals are monitored by my supervisor for training and quality purposes. . .??"