Railway Manager Gifts

Ministry of Transport: 'Pssst! Do you want to buy a railway?'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

Latest Railway Marvel.

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

"We're striking for minimum levels of service."

Undersized Load

"We apologise for the late arrival of the ten-eighteen..."

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'That's not the speed limit! It's the number of cameras in the area!'

Executive Lifestyle

Man with Stop Signs.

"So, what did the boss think of your suggestion we spend more money on truck safety?"

Olympic Diary: The London traffic snarl could not have happened at a worse time.

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

'Now we have the chief executive of Wigwam rail, how can you justify the enormous fair increases.'

The happy union of rail and trucking.

Going shooting

Airline HQ. First we had to worry about planes that were not staying in the air. Now we have to worry about water droplets that are staying in the air.

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

Roadworks: Your City Thanks You!

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

'I guess it's an improvement over the previous 'do-nothing' policy.'

"I understand, Mr. Osborne, take HS2 off and replace with 'Oriental Express'."

"Working from home was a great idea in theory, but it probably wasn't a great idea to let the drivers do it!"

Confusion on the Railways

Rail service excuses: Points failure.

'What time does the train leave for Shangrila?'

Under the car park.

'Tell'em the money we wasted won't go to Greece.'

End of the Road Ahead: Prepare to Walk

'Can passengers please be on the lookout for suspicious looking packages?'

Railway accidents

"It's about time the network invested in some new rolling stock."

"You're three days late, I think you're going to have a railway executive."