Railway Executive Gifts

Strategic Rail Authority to Richard Branson - 'I'm afraid you'll have to stand, all the seats are taken.'

'Apologies for the delay to the trains...we are busy counting our money.'

"I understand, Mr. Osborne, take HS2 off and replace with 'Oriental Express'."

"You're three days late, I think you're going to have a railway executive."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Latest Railway Marvel.

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

Airline Mergers.

Safest Airline in The World

HS2 time bomb...

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

VW scandal

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"We apologise for the late arrival of the ten-eighteen..."

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

'Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the latest Airbus!'

Railway 'King' George Hudson

'And this is where we research new ideas for more efficient ways to cream more bodies onto every flight...'

Executive Lifestyle

"Let me get this straight...your airline lets you layover in Hawaii for 24 hours and they trust you to come back?"

The 6.06 to Brighton overshoots the buffers

"Not only is our flight delayed, but the airline has declared bankruptcy."

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'This is your captain speaking. Transatlantic airways has just been absorbed by Aero Argentina. Thus, instead of landing in London, we will touch down in Buenos Aires.'

Railway Map of England (A Prophecy)

"If cars are to go all electric by 2035 we have to make a few compromises."

'My job is to make decisions around here, Hoskins. Your job is to make them fly!'

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

"I don't think much of the new Post-Brexit model."

BOEING Suspends Flights.

Boeing Invents the time machine...

"And we're pleased to offer a complimentary glass of Champagne to those single gentlement with incomes over $250000 pa who leave us their telephone numbers."

HS2 Leeds Cancelled