Train Station Manager Gifts

"It's the wrong type of tracks on the snow."

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

Children's Terrain Rides - kids seated and enjoying themselves in the way they would on a real train.

Rodin's Tram Driver

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

Gas Station: Unexplainable Price Increases

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

'There will be no editorial from our Station Manager tonight, because he's still in jail from his last editorial.'

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

"I'v never actually stormed a castle, but I've taken a bunch of siege-management courses."

Gas price rollercoaster.

'You'd never make it as a train driver - how about replacement bus service driver?''

"Take heed! For your journey is filled with long delays and unexpected service changes."

"I don't think you need to worry about being late! After all, it's you who drives the train!"

"The next downtown local train has entered a rift in the space-time continuum, and will arrive in 3027."

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

"Says. . . some signals are monitored by my supervisor for training and quality purposes. . .??"

'...And that's tonight's news. Now, here's our Station Manager with another one of his outrageously wrongheaded editorials....'

Low oil prices.

"Erm, fireman, teacher, train driver, anything that offers plenty of time off via strike action?"

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

"Beige Marks and Spencer anorak, elasticated cuffs, fully enclosable hood...I don't believe I've got that one"

'There's an assertiveness training course. Want to go?'

"Working from home was a great idea in theory, but it probably wasn't a great idea to let the drivers do it!"

Confusion on the Railways

Have you tried eating soup on a high speed train?"