Stationmaster Gifts

'Looks like another brief encounter.'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Would you like some wings?"

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

"I preferred the name 'Merrylegs'."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'I think you should know, I put a piece on 'YourTube' praising your stewardship.'

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

A sign at a restaurant - Food left unattended will be eaten by the waiter.

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

'Happy New Year!'

"This way, O' Brien."

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

"No, your laptop turning red isn't a new, cool feature. It's red because it's hot. When is the last time you cleaned it?"

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

'Fitzroy, the sea is a bit too cold to swim in. Would you please go and get the immersion heater?'

"The table of stationers would like to send you their compliment slips."

'There will be no editorial from our Station Manager tonight, because he's still in jail from his last editorial.'

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

Out of Order.