Stationmaster Pillows

'Looks like another brief encounter.'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Would you like some wings?"

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

"I preferred the name 'Merrylegs'."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'I think you should know, I put a piece on 'YourTube' praising your stewardship.'

'Happy New Year!'

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

A sign at a restaurant - Food left unattended will be eaten by the waiter.

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

"This way, O' Brien."

"No, your laptop turning red isn't a new, cool feature. It's red because it's hot. When is the last time you cleaned it?"

'There will be no editorial from our Station Manager tonight, because he's still in jail from his last editorial.'

"The table of stationers would like to send you their compliment slips."

'Fitzroy, the sea is a bit too cold to swim in. Would you please go and get the immersion heater?'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

Out of Order.