Station Master Gifts

'Come back! Initiation ceremonies are for apprentices, not station masters!'

A dilemma at a train station.

Station master boasting about shunting the queen

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

Desk shaped like an office block.

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

"FISH ON"

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

Mind control

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

Dance Studio: Ballroom, Latin, Line Dancing, Rain Dancing

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

"No, your laptop turning red isn't a new, cool feature. It's red because it's hot. When is the last time you cleaned it?"

"This way, O' Brien."

Man using a sherpa - "Admit it father those stairs are getting too much for you."

'There will be no editorial from our Station Manager tonight, because he's still in jail from his last editorial.'

"The table of stationers would like to send you their compliment slips."

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

'The problem's too simple - call someone else'

Four thousand dollars later and there's STILL nothing to watch!