Stable Master Gifts

Master inspecting new horse

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Desk shaped like an office block.

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

Stable boys and Scottsman

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

"I preferred the name 'Merrylegs'."

'It just needs tidying up a bit.'

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Skiing Accidents.

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

Horse Muzzles

'I've fallen and I can't giddyup.'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

'You can tell the age of a horse by the teeth...but who wants to bite a horse.'

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

How's your job at the stables? -I'd better dash my work is piling up!

'Higher!'

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'Gee, Doctor Dresher, you have a wonderful way with horses....

"I carry burdens, yes.....but I certainly don't consider myself a beast."

"I think I'll call the new foal Bill. . .He's due at the end of the month."

'Meadow fescue, meadow grass and perennial ryegrass! This is going to be the best party ever!'

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood,...

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'