Future Stablemasters Gifts

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Baby Piano

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

Bassoons.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"The meaning of life is having a spectacular view."

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

"No, I don't have any weed."

Ed listens to one too many relaxation CDs...

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

Guru Shifted Thinking

'The meaning of life is heads they win, tails you lose.'

"I preferred the name 'Merrylegs'."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

'We've been on the road to sexual enlightenment for over four hours...let's pull over for a coffee...'

"This won't last long. I'll practice right after Mom gets home from work."

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

'Do you ever get the feeling that true inner peace is more darn trouble than it's worth?'