Future Stablemasters Mugs

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Baby Piano

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

Bassoons.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

FAQs.

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"The meaning of life is having a spectacular view."

"No, I don't have any weed."

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

Ed listens to one too many relaxation CDs...

'The meaning of life is heads they win, tails you lose.'

"I preferred the name 'Merrylegs'."

Guru Shifted Thinking

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'We've been on the road to sexual enlightenment for over four hours...let's pull over for a coffee...'

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

"This won't last long. I'll practice right after Mom gets home from work."

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag