Stable Manager Gifts

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"I think I'll call the new foal Bill. . .He's due at the end of the month."

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

'Welcome to the herd buddy! I just need to check your passport, there will be some obligatory jostling and squealing then we can carry on eating grass...'

"I preferred the name 'Merrylegs'."

"Holmes, I keep telling you ... you've got to be more assertive with that horse."

'Citronella? Cold tea? Lavender? Smelling good Gloria! Repel those flies!'

'You can tell the age of a horse by the teeth...but who wants to bite a horse.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. III

'Heyyyyy! Don't turn your nose up at us buddy! You may have superior bloodlines but you still poop in this field just like we do!'

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

'Meadow fescue, meadow grass and perennial ryegrass! This is going to be the best party ever!'

Groom teling visitors about an erratic horse

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. VIII

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

Stable boys and Scottsman

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'I love you Jeff, but you have two chromosomes less than me and I guess I can't handle that'

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."