Train Staff Gifts

Have you tried eating soup on a high speed train?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Packed like sardines

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Busy office.

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

The role of administration.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Targets.

Sales.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."