Train Staff Gifts

Have you tried eating soup on a high speed train?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Packed like sardines

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

Busy office.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Targets.

Sales.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."