Train Operators Gifts

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

Packed like sardines

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'What do you think of the new Mars Mover I just ordered from The Whole Mars Catalogue?'

Subway Thrillers

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

"You can't beat a ploughman's lunch"

S**t Creek Halt

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

Children's Terrain Rides - kids seated and enjoying themselves in the way they would on a real train.

'Snack Bar's Open.'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

Rodin's Tram Driver

'And remember: this isn't a submarine!'

The Church-Going Bell.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

'You're not quite what we had in mind.'

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

'According to this load analysis, we're overweight by one hundred and fifty pounds. Any suggestions?'

'Nice job, Harold, you finally found me a nice quiet nesting place.'

Woman holding two phones together.

Admiral Nelson commanding a small car ferry

"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."

""Yeah, I like the hard stuff...so what?'

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

'You'd never make it as a train driver - how about replacement bus service driver?''

"I don't think you need to worry about being late! After all, it's you who drives the train!"

"Take heed! For your journey is filled with long delays and unexpected service changes."

"Erm, fireman, teacher, train driver, anything that offers plenty of time off via strike action?"