Tractor Operator Gifts

"You can't beat a ploughman's lunch"

'What do you think of the new Mars Mover I just ordered from The Whole Mars Catalogue?'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

Farmers' Warnings.

Tractor Racing

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

Demonic Repossession.

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

'I found another pothole.'

"I got it from eBay."

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Tractor Art

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

Children's Terrain Rides - kids seated and enjoying themselves in the way they would on a real train.

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

Farmer

Sheepdog protecting his master from road rage.

'Dad, I want to drive an army tank when I'm older.'

Betsy. Why you call you bulldozer "Faith"? Because she'll move mountains!

"What kind of mileage do you get?"

'This is one way to 'round-'em-up!'

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Digger.

BE.. All that you can BE...

"Bad news, Beatrice - I struck oil on the south forty."

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."