Tractor Riding Gifts

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

Farmers' Warnings.

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

Tractor Racing

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

Farmer Christmas.

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Tractors, Sir - thousands of 'em!"

'What do you think of the new Mars Mover I just ordered from The Whole Mars Catalogue?'

"I got it from eBay."

"You can't beat a ploughman's lunch"

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

Tractor Art

Sheepdog protecting his master from road rage.

Farmer

"What kind of mileage do you get?"

"Bad news, Beatrice - I struck oil on the south forty."

Farmer eating lunch on resting cow.

'This is one way to 'round-'em-up!'

'When you said the tractor was down, I thought...'

"The crop this year is 'mashed potato'!"

'Yes,we do have a small tractor that you don't have to pay a big-tractor price for.'

Ostrich Farm

Effective farming.

Bovine Fast Food

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

"'Nother load of tobacco money headin' north, Ma." "Yep."