Rail Worker Gifts

Clickety Clack! Clickety Clack!

"I'm not sure which side wants to open the doors to negotiation and which side closes them."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Off Duty.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Latest Railway Marvel.

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

The next fast train has gone.

'A word in my office Jones.'

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

'I can assure you we take privacy concerns very seriously. Now, on your way out, shut the bloody door.'

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."