Rail Engineer Gifts

Railway Map of England (A Prophecy)

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

Latest Railway Marvel.

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

The next fast train has gone.

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

S**t Creek Halt

HS2 time bomb...

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Coupler Counselling

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

The 6.06 to Brighton overshoots the buffers

Executive Lifestyle

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

Railway 'King' George Hudson

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

'To be honest, I'm not sure if a HAZARD ASSESSMENT would have seen this one coming!'

Pound sign on rail tracks.

"Of all the times to stall."

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

'We apologise for the late arrival of the 9.38 to...'

'Nice job, Harold, you finally found me a nice quiet nesting place.'

Oil Workers

HS2 Leeds Cancelled

Hello National Rail Enquiries.. mystic meg speaking.."