Railroad Engineer Gifts

'Fancy new technology, it says 'Hi, Baby, I'm on the train'.'

"Of all the times to stall."

"Yes, I'm sure you didn't stop at the railroad crossing."

Thru versus Through Traffic

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

Latest Railway Marvel.

"Any references?"

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

The next fast train has gone.

"It's a hybrid!"

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

HS2 time bomb...

The Train to Nowhere

L.A. Transfer

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

S**t Creek Halt

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Coupler Counselling

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

Og falls asleep at the wheel for the final time.

Railway 'King' George Hudson

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

The 6.06 to Brighton overshoots the buffers

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

'To be honest, I'm not sure if a HAZARD ASSESSMENT would have seen this one coming!'

Pound sign on rail tracks.