Railway Employee Gifts

Latest Railway Marvel.

Irish Porterbeing unhelpful to a passenger

Ticket office modernised

Going shooting

Smoking on the train

Socket for laptop or mobile under seat

Platform Position Plan

'What time does the train leave for Shangrila?'

"I'm on the train strike."

'What are you up to?'

'Strategic rail authority 10 year plan: buy a ticket, wait for the train.'

Railtrack Regrets - Fill in what you like

'Patience, patience, I'm sure it's in here somewhere...'

Autumn of Discontent

"I'm 100 per cent satisfied that this is a truly terrible train service."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."