Crib Comedians Gifts

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

"Oh Oh... I Think I'm Stuck!"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"It was better before God took up knitting."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"I hate performance review season."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

My brilliant career

Shake it all about sign on desk

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Not here - home!'

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"