Civic Comedians Gifts

Conflicted Chief

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

"But, Senator, all the cool kids were doing it."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

Trump in Washington

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

"We were going to adopt a highway, but Rachel thought there would be less red tape if we adopted an overpass."

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

'Without a pay raise, it's impossible to attract good people to government -- why, just look at me!'

Campaign Headquarters: For a $500 contribution, the candidate will shake your hand ans sustain eye contact with you for five seconds.

Manhole Warning

'Parish Council, working towards obsolescence'

"Actually, my political philosophy is pretty simple: 'Practice Random Gridlock and Senseless Acts of Partisanship!'"

'Since I didn't vote for this government, I thought I wouldn't have to pay them taxes.'

"It's our duty to vote, but it's their duty to find someone worth voting for!"

"Great job dealing with all those mail-in ballots. Seriously, top notch."