Civic Comedians Gifts

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

"But, Senator, all the cool kids were doing it."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

Manhole Warning

Campaign Headquarters: For a $500 contribution, the candidate will shake your hand ans sustain eye contact with you for five seconds.

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

'Without a pay raise, it's impossible to attract good people to government -- why, just look at me!'

"We were going to adopt a highway, but Rachel thought there would be less red tape if we adopted an overpass."

'Parish Council, working towards obsolescence'

"Actually, my political philosophy is pretty simple: 'Practice Random Gridlock and Senseless Acts of Partisanship!'"

'Since I didn't vote for this government, I thought I wouldn't have to pay them taxes.'

"It's our duty to vote, but it's their duty to find someone worth voting for!"

"Great job dealing with all those mail-in ballots. Seriously, top notch."

Adopt a pothole.