Cabin Comedian Gifts

"It's beautiful, but maybe we should ask the pilots to turn the heat up."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Just don't let the old man get you down.

"It is what it is."

Suggestion box which shreds forms placed in it.

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

I accepted an early retirement buy out and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.